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I'm just not buying it anymore! The "I'm a guy, I'm wired that way" card. It'll stop with my boys...bet I'm not the first mom/wife to cry this! You may totally disagree with me and have some scientific or spiritual explanation, but I don't. I just have a logical explanation-laziness. I'm not harping on Jim or any recent event, just a general observation.
Too many times we let our guys get away with things, like overlooking the pile of clothes needing to be folded or the icky stack of dirty dishes or not responding to a third request to do something just because he's a guy, he's wired that way. There is really no excuse. I think it's just inbred in them that this is acceptable because their mom's said that it's just the way he's wired. Bahumbug! I NEVER get a pass to be moody just because I'm a girl. Just because I have raging hormones doesn't give me permission to make everyone walk on eggshells. I'm not saying I don't, just saying, it's not even acceptable for me to play the-I have PMS card. I've talked to Jim about this, wondering why is it so hard for him to "read my mind" or to understand my feelings...He is just like all guys and says, "just not wired that way." But when it all came down to it, he said it's comfortable that way, it's laziness. It's taken me 4 and a half years to see that I can't change what's already done, but I think I can stop the cycle with my boys! I keep reminding myself that they are going to be some lovely girl's husbands someday. I want those girls to see all that my little men can be-sensitive to her feelings, aware of obvious chores, and most definitely still woo her off aching feet when she's 60 pounds pregnant and ankles the size of grapefruits! Ask me in 20 years if my plan is working!
And please, by all means, let me know what you think...agree, disagree?
Well, it can be done. You can break the cycle! Ryan's mom stopped the cycle with him. He is not lazy at all, picks up his own clothes, helps me around the house, even though he works all of the time. He cleans up the kitchen after we've eaten. The list goes on and on. In other words, he doesn't take advantage of me. I'm not saying that Jim does with you because I don't know the dynamics of your relationship but Ryan definitely does not with me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I intend to do the same with my boys. I'm going to teach them that it's not only a "woman's" job to keep house and that it's definitely not her job to wait on her husband and kids hand and foot.