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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Coming Clean

     Where in the world have I been? Because I sure haven't been camped out at my Lemonade Stand in quite some time!
     Mostly I've been playing on the floor with my 3 precious children! We celebrated Andrew's 2nd birthday in July and this month we have already celebrated Carrie Ann turning a half a year old and soon, haha, very soon, Taylor will be turning the big 4!!! Oh my word, I can't believe it! My babies are growing up and I feel like this time is so fleeting.
     When I look back at this time, 12 years from now, when Taylor is getting his driver's license, Andrew is growing hair in weird places and Carrie Ann begins rolling her eyes at me, I'm going to miss all the "controlled" chaos.
     It's days like today, when a simple trip to Lowe's leaves me wondering if my child would be okay after drinking the water from water falls in the garden center, that I want to remember the day as fun, easy. I don't want to miss a thing. I won't regret not turning my computer on for an entire month, spending every summer night letting my boys stay up late watching movies, or sitting on the couch with my husband til midnight watching detective shows.
    We've changed our routine, mixed things up a bit. The old one wasn't working out too well for me. The kids and I joined a gym. GASP! Yes, I actually exercised everyday this week! I might've broken a sweat once or twice, too!
     I've spent a lot of time in a little nook in my bedroom, in a place the boys have yet to look for me! Pouring out my thoughts, anxious ones at that, desires, prayers, cries and joys into a prayer journal. It's all muddled up in my head right now. Getting it down on paper makes things a little more clear. It's where I can come clean with my Lord, open His Word and saturate it with my tears-sad ones because I'm a mess, and grateful ones-because His promises are forever. He is merciful. I don't have to carry this heavy load. He sees each tear that falls and He is my strength.
   Needless to say, I've had a rough run of it these last few months. But I've remained on my knees. Stayed focused on the task I've been given. Tried to fight a good fight, even if Barney is singing in the background while I'm doing it! My house is clean, 3 burritos are wrapped snuggly in their beds, an unfinished craft needs finishing, the DVR is paused and 3 loads of laundry await my precise hand!
   I'll be back. Until then, enjoy these two songs I've been listening to lately by JJ Heller.