An old glass of lemonade...for a day when you think you've had a bad day!

Written September 4, 2009, re-posted

     It was just one of those mornings. You know, one of those that you wish you could just crawl up in God's lap and let Him put the hair back in that you have pulled out!
     I have nothing in life to complain about, so I am sharing this with you comically, because I know I am not alone!
     I awoke to Jim asking me to come HELP! Andrew had gagged on his snot and he needed me. I whisked Andrew away to the bathroom for a bath while Jim cleaned up the kitchen. All is great. Jim is out the door, but uh oh...I forgot his lunch. Then it began....I sat at the table to write a quick grocery list, obviously we needed some cough medicine, lysol, and germ-X. We were out of everything...I had to go.     
     I got sick while making this list and while I was in my lavatory, Taylor brought me the kitchen scissors, said he couldn't find his. I sent him back to the kitchen to put all the tops on his markers. He quickly returns naked...he has to go potty. Are you serious? Okay...I'm still sick, you just have to wait. I emerge from my room, finding him in his bathroom and Andrew, the 1 year old, clutching a soaked piece of construciton paper....Where in the world did this come from....Taylor--I don't know. I chunk it. Okay....As I am gathering my coupons from the kitchen table, getting my bag ready, Taylor comes smiling impishly saying, Mommy, I fixed all your coupons....What he should have said was, Mommy, I strew all 100 of your coupons all over your bed, doesn't it look nice? He got sent to time out...but this 3 year old didn't go to the right time out...he went to the living room chair, climbed up the tv cabinet and got Mr. Potato Head and his 42 pieces down and poured them out on the entire floor (This is a not only a no-no because if has 42 stinkin' pieces, but the small parts are too small for Andrew...). As I am cleaning up the coupons, I come to find Taylor's new mess, then I hear Andrew...he's playing in a potty somewhere...ahh...there he is in the front bathroom and what in the world are you sitting in...the bathroom and mudroom floor are covered, with what I am hoping, but I am not naive, is just potty water! Not only that, some inovative kid in my house has taken all the white caps off the bolts that cover your bolts that hold your toilet to the ground and put them in an empty wipe box and Andrew has decided that's the best toy to play with at the time. Taylor couldn't tell me what kind of water it was....Andrew...back to the bath!
     I sop up the floor with paper towels, then get the Swiffer mop with the antibacterial spray. As I am mopping, I smell throw up....OH MY GOODNESS....this is the same mop pad Jim used this morning to clean up throw up!!!! LOVELY!!!!!!!!! Sick Again.....So I just sprayed bleach on everything and mopped it up with a clean pad!
     So then, I'm ready to go...Taylor now in the proper time out chair...in my room...except he has gotten onto the top of my dresser and destroyed a picture frame and crumpled 2 family portraits nearby that were awaiting frames....To the car and not a word.....I even packed my paddle with me today...I was ready for whatever.
     I got in the car and just laughed...This all happened within a span of 20 minutes! I called Jim...I needed him....It was a legitimate reason for him to leave work...unlike the time there was a giant millipede in the garage...Andrew and I are sick and Taylor is well....a 3 year old!....He didn't answer, I think he knew not to!
     As I drive to the grocery store...I realize...Candise...this isn't the way to the grocery store, this is the complete opposite direction....Turning around, I am praying that I just don't lose it in the grocery store and burst into tears in the produce aisle.
     I didn't know whether to cry or to just laugh...at a red light, I just sat in silence and prayed and asked God to help me hold it together.
     God has given me a great sense of humor, I think just so I can laugh at mornings like these and not get so uptight! I hope your day started off a little less eventful as mine!!!